When I hear about couples that choose not to mix their finances, often I tend to assume that it is because they are thinking about the future and what could potentially happen—a divorce. But sometimes people choose not to marry their finances because of what has happened in the past.
I was especially struck by this notion when I read this recent DailyWorth article entitled Separate Money = Sane Marriage. The writer details her sad story of being financially and physically abandoned by her father during childhood after he took on a new family as a result of being involved in an extramarital affair. Although you can imagine how heartbreaking this experience was for the betrayed wife, this story is especially striking because it describes the effect on a child throughout this struggle. After living through such a depressing existence, it is no wonder that, as an adult, the writer decided to never be financially dependent again, even when she decided to get married.
Due to the distrust that can be fostered through situations like this, it is understandable why some people may choose to keep their money separate from their marriage. And sometimes in those scenarios, that may be the healthiest way to move on from having trust broken in order to salvage enough trust to involve one’s self in life’s important relationships.
Keeping finances separate may also help to reduce one of the top reasons that married couples fight and may get divorced over—finances. Depending on the couple and situation, shared finances can foster its share of fights and disagreements, and therefore financial autonomy may contribute to marital bliss in some situations.
What’s your take on blending finances in marriage? Do you think it is a bad idea, good idea, or does it depend on the particular situation? Have you found success with combining financial forces? Or do you consider financial autonomy the best way to go? Share your thoughts by commenting below.
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